Why Are Women Who Shed Light on Men’s Experiences Called Traitors?
Last month, I wrote an article called “American Women’s Unrealistic Standards are Hurting Men.”
I’m an international matchmaking expert, and in that article, I shared my male clients’ reasons for giving up on dating American women.
There have been varied comments on the topic, but one, in particular, caught my attention.
The commenter stated a lot of things, but in the end, she said,
Quite frankly, the whole pity party because men are expected to step their game up is way old and the viewpoint from a woman? That’s traitorous and tired energy.
Now, I’m wondering what I did wrong. Why was I suddenly called a traitor for shedding light on men’s experiences?
If you’ve read and understood my article, there’s no part where I was biased against any gender.
I only delivered the sentiments of my male clients because I thought it would show the readers the consequences of having unrealistic standards in relationships.
So why am I called a traitor?
I scoured the Internet to learn about gender traitors, and here’s what I got.
A gender traitor is a person who supports attitudes or positions thought to be against the interests or well-being of their own sex or gender. — WordSense
Well, in this context, it’s self-explanatory. If you’re a woman who speaks against another woman, you’re a traitor.
And that’s exactly what the commenter thought I was. But did I really betray my fellow women?
Let’s examine my article.
I stated there:
Although I haven’t heard the other side of the story, I can’t deny that this is a common struggle men face in relationships — one that should be proactively addressed.
If anything, men should be appreciated and valued instead of diminishing their efforts and tearing them down.
I said this because I have already talked to hundreds of men who are suffering from their partners’ unrealistic standards. But not once did I side with them and threw hateful comments at their partners.
I even said this:
To be fair, I don’t think all American women treat men like this. But it’s also wrong to invalidate these men’s struggles.
So if this is true, it just means that having unrealistic standards can set us up for disappointment and frustration, preventing us from appreciating the qualities that our partners possess.
This is for all the people involved in relationships — men and women alike. In the end, a partner with unreasonable standards will never be satisfied. No matter what you do, you’re never enough for them.
That’s what I meant with my article. Unlike what the commenter has said, I didn’t throw a pity party for these men. I wrote this topic to address every couple out there.
Let’s see the bigger picture.
One last thing, the commenter also said,
I’ve said it before and I’ll continue to say it. They don’t need us to come to their defense. They aren’t the oppressed. They’re the oppressors.
That’s the thing. I didn’t defend men. I protected no one. I focused on the main issue, which was not gender, but the toxic trait that people develop in relationships.
I rest my case.
